I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
