I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
