Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
