were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
