He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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