i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
