HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
