his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I want a musical about memes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
