I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
