Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
