Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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