shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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