so explain again why im purple
no
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
