And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i came on her dog
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
