There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
