Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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