just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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