just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
