who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
