Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We got so high we made milksteak
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
