I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
