told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
