There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
