Don't you send me to vm
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i think my cat just said my name.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
