All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
