I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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