is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
