Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think people are normalizing furries
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
