I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
