I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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