I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
