So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
