is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
