i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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