you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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