As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
