I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
