Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
