In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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