Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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