he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
