how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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