the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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