Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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