she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
