it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
