That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
