I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
