i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I touched a dick in church today
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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