better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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