i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
