the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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