R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
